What Parents Need to Know While in the NICU
There is nothing that can truly prepare parents for the sense of helplessness and powerless that comes along with seeing your baby in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU)
Photo by thisismasha
Seeing your infant connected to monitors and machines with wires and tubes can cause a strong burst of emotions. Remember you’re not alone in your journey. Other parents have lived through the same emotions and experiences; and I have a profound appreciation for all families caring for children in the NICU .
Adopting Kangaroo Care experiences can help make time in the NICU more manageable. Kangaroo Care allows a mother or father to have skin-to-skin contact with their baby. To prepare for this, parents will receive support from medical staff, social workers, and counselors on the correct methods and techniques to use in caring for your baby. The NICU experiences, while somber are so very special and will help you to share fulfilling moments with your baby.
Here are some tips that can help you in caring for your baby while in the NICU:
Familiarize yourself with the surroundings and situation by learning as much as possible from the medical staff, this can help you to establish a sense of comfort and control. If possible, ask to be involved in your infant’s care by taking their temperature, changing diapers, changing clothes, and helping during bath time. If you decide to breastfeed your little one, pump as much breast milk as you can in advance. The nurse will provide labels for you to mark each bottle with your name, the date and the time.
Your breast milk will be given to the baby through a feeding tube or bottle. It can be scary to see your baby receiving his milk through a tube, but continue to remind yourself this is an important part of your baby getting his nutrition for a faster recovery. In some cases, both breast milk and formula are used for feeding. Don't panic or stress about not producing enough milk, the NICU has great formulas to help your baby grow and make a speedy recovery. You can explore the alternative of donor’s milk by talking to your medical providers about your options. You will also be seen by a lactation consultant and other medical providers who are available to answer any questions or concerns you may have.
If you can have “skin-to-skin” contact, use that unique sense of bonding and healing. Your voice, touch, and smell will help your baby build healthy attachments that contribute to a faster recovery.
When you visit the NICU, you will meet doctors and nurses who will explain to you how to contribute to your baby’s care.
Talk to your medical providers about your baby’s plan of care, the immediate challenges, and what tests or procedures to expect.
While in the NICU, focus on the present moment and the things that are helpful and constructive for the care of your infant. Try to focus on the positives. Remind yourself that negative thoughts are not helpful for you and your baby and can only make you feel helpless and powerless. Reach out to a counselor for additional support in coping with and facing challenging moments.
Your baby is not defined by a diagnosis. Each baby is unique from any other, with his or her own individual qualities and characteristics. Set the intention to enjoy each moment holding your baby and contributing to his/her care. Remind yourself that you’re in a singular situation and your experience and knowledge hold distinctive helpful qualities.
As your baby grows older and is catching up with other children his age, something in you might never forget the NICU experience, and your child’s birth experience. I am a proud mother of a “preemie” and I have a profound appreciation for all of my son’s accomplishments. No one prepared me for the premature birth experience, but I am here to help other mothers who may face this journey in childbirth. Many women don’t realize that unprocessed trauma related to their birth experience can linger long after other aspects have returned to stability, and they may be in need of closure and healing. I’ve spoken with many a mother who has had her own aha! moment of realizing that in the hustle and bustle of daily motherhood she neglected to process her own personal trauma, emotions and experience. Set aside time for yourself to do this, through seeking out therapy and speaking with a professional.
It is difficult to know how your baby will do until some time has passed; therefore, it’s important to contribute and help your baby to recover in the present moment. Just like your baby was connected to you in the womb, he or she is connected to you outside of it and is empathetic to your feelings. Sometimes it’s hard to know what contributed to the early birth, and feelings of guilt and shame may be a part of your experience. Acknowledge those feelings, know it’s normal to feel that way, then do your best to avoid dwelling on them.
If you feel overwhelmed or down and depressed, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Talk to other moms, find support in your community, talk to your medical providers, and don’t be afraid to speak up and ask for the help you need! I hear your pain and I see you there in that NICU chair trying to get your thoughts together. Take a deep breath, and be fully present for your baby or babies. You’re not alone in your journey!